If I were Bekim

My world began on January 18, 1978, in Belgrade. The mother was an economist, and the father was an officer of the JNA, an engineer. But they always had something of a performer in them. No one was into art, but all our gatherings looked like plays. My father has a large family, five children from three marriages, five grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren. I think that his talent as a performer defined me in my early childhood. I also grew up in Šumadija villages with my grandparents and my childhood was not only connected to the city, which is important. The scenery for the play is made in the village, we constructed everything ourselves: houses in the trees, a small mill on the river... Growing up, everything resembled a theatre. I never had enough, I liked to improvise. To this day, we have a lot of hazelnuts on our plot, so as children we made bows, arrows, swords, carved and competed to see who could do it better. I was surrounded by the world of fiction. When I was only four years old, "Quo Vadis" was filmed in Mladenovac. In kindergarten, they were looking for kids to act, and that's how I got my first role. All my childhood I wanted to be Bekim Feḫmiu, and I told everyone that. He was the embodiment of movie magic, and at the same time he was ours!

Buha like a house

I did my first play in Dadovo in 1994. That was the generation I later studied with. Then Darijan Mihajlović and I founded the amateur theatre "Teatar na krovu" in Mladenovac, and it lived for years, it worked well, and the plays went on, toured, and won. In 1997, I enrolled at the Academy in the first generation of Biljana Mašić students. It is the beginning of my best years. We were all bound, friends. I remember when Goran Šušljik went to live in Botswana and someone was supposed to replace him at "Sveta Sava", I was recommended to Milan Karadžić by Ljilja Mrkić Popović, who was the dean and professor. That's how I came to "Buha" for the first time. Somehow, people here immediately saw that I carry a lot of energy, and Milan Karadžić was then starting to prepare "Šargor", and he needed someone for the mystical character of a semi-real being that looks like Shakespeare's Puk - he appears, disappears, speaks great truths in symbols... He thought that I should play it and then we did that play in which I think I gave one of my best roles. During the next two years, I received a lot of awards and naturally found myself here, in "Buha". And then in 2001, on October 17, I graduated. That same night, Donka Špiček and Ljuba Ršum called me to enter a permanent engagement. Thus Buḫa became my house.

The sin of youth

My first collision with reality started happening relatively recently, because I, like many, did not believe that youth would suddenly, overnight, pass. When the change of generations happens, there is no longer enough charm or energy, everything that comes naturally in life and is easy - suddenly disappears. Then experience, education, and speed are necessary so that people can rely on you, for you to be responsible enough to enter jobs that are high-risk and cost a lot both mentally and financially. Today, I think I did well to spend my youth going out, going wild, and joking around, but I tried to work on myself at the same time, to educate myself, expand my knowledge, and horizons, and refine my attitude. It seems to me that I cashed in on that today, but not only in the material sense.

Sometimes bad

On several occasions I played and lived in Europe, for me it was the most valuable experience because I had no background there, had no people who knew my work, no family, no friends... The first time I had only myself and that was a big test - was it really worth it? When I managed to be an actor in Vienna to gain friends and an audience that loves me, to integrate into some cultural and social circles, then I realized that it is important that a person works only on himself. If it's on good and healthy grounds, you can always start from scratch again. In this country, the most interesting thing for me was the preparation of "Hitler" in the Atelier. I had to find something unknown about him, something that only I could sense, intimate and personal, so for six months I read everything that was ever written and recorded about him, everything that people remember. That collision with the fact that I have to understand the man I'm going to play with, and with whom I deeply disagree, was terrible for me. Then I realized that we don't have to justify everything in life that happens around us, but we have to understand it. It is the way to meet yourself. The most difficult thing is to meet yourself in your intimacy and realize that sometimes you are also bad, that you are not always right, that you cause pain, and to find reasons for it so that you would act more correctly later.

Стрaнaц лoкaлaц

Глумa je двaдeсeтчeтвoрoчaсoвни пoсao: глeдaм, читaм, сaзнajeм или рaзмишљaм o oнoмe штo ћу рaдити, живим oнaкo кaкo ћe живeти мoj лик. Зa тo врeмe живим скрoмнo, дa бих, кaд дoђe пeриoд у кoм имaм врeмeнa, свe улoжиo у дaлeкa путoвaњa. Углaвнoм бирaм зeмљe кoje су мeни нeпoзнaти филмoви. Вoлим дa пoнeкaд нe глумим у филмoвимa нeгo дa их живим, a тo мoжe кaд сe путуje. Aкo пoстojи пaсиoнирaни путник, ja сaм тaj. Увeк идeм сaмo с jeдним рaнцeм нa лeђимa. Гaрдeрoбу купуjeм тaмo, jeдeм свe штo oни jeду, пиjeм свe штo oни пиjу и трудим сe дa нe будeм стрaнaц нeгo лoкaлaц. Чoвeк мoрa дa дoзвoли дa нe кoнтрoлишe свe у свoм живoту. Свaки дaн имa свojу пoнуду, a ти je узмeш или нe. Кaд пoгoдиш мeту, прoмaшиш свe oстaлo, кaжe Шeкспир. Aкo идeмo сaмo прeмa циљу a нe узимaмo oстaлo, мнoгo ћeмo прoпустити. Вeруjeм дa првo трeбa пoглeдaти jeлoвник, пa тeк oндa oдaбрaти jeлo. Чaк иaкo у живoту скрeнeш у бoчну улицу, и ту je нeки изaзoв кojи ћe тe нeчeму нaучити.

Theater family

I didn't finish elementary or high school in this city, so I don't have friends from childhood, so most of my friends are artists. We are close in sensibility. When I have doubts and failures, insecurity that would be unrealistic to other people, it is quite understandable for them. Support comes from them, they help me rationalize some things and that can be crucial. Donka Špiček is my second mother. I remember, her name was on the closing credits of all the programs I watched on television as a child, as well as that of the tone master Richard Mertz. Both have specific names that are memorable. I thought they were some wizards making everything I like. My first theater father was a children's idol, Predrag Panić Pane, whose show "Kolarić, Panić, Pletemo se, Samić..." I enjoyed in my childhood. In "Buha" I was greeted by a compact unit, a group of happy people with whom, over the years, I have become accustomed to working and living with. Draga Ćirić, Sandra Šušljik, Olga Odanović, Boda Ninković, Manda, Duja, Katarina Marković, Viktor Savić, Raša...